Dating Etiquette

When I was asked to write a post on dating etiquette, it took me a few days to even decide where to begin.  Not that I’m a pro on the topic by any means, but there is a lot that falls under the topic of “dating etiquette.” 

What do you wear?  How do you act?  Who do you date?  How do you weed out the weirdos?  Do you ask the boy out?  Do you wait until he asks you?  How do you get his attention?  

Yowza.  Dating is complicated.  Super complicated.  Yet, a lot of the hard part comes before you even start dating someone.  So today I’m going to highlight a few of the dating etiquette basics that I think all ladies should know before they say, “yes, I’ll go out with you!”

1) Set some boundaries

Before you ever start dating, you should set some boundaries.  Decide what you’re willing to do and not do on your date.  As Pentecostal young ladies, we already know the essentiality of keeping ourselves pure before marriage.  That’s a no brainer.  But what about kissing?  Or holding hands?  Or sharing the innermost secrets of your heart?  These are all areas in which you need to clearly define your boundaries before you start dating.  

 A good way to start is to talk to someone you trust like your parents, pastor, pastor’s wife, or a trusted lady in the church.  Ask their advice, and pray about it.  Then, once you’ve set your boundaries, stick with them.

2) Don’t pursue him!

My dad told me that if a boy liked me, he would make it abundantly clear.  And whaddya know, my dad knew what he was talking about.  When my husband and I first started dating, he drove three hours just to pick me up.  I offered to meet him in the middle, but he refused because he was a gentleman.  He was the one to ask me out, he texted me first, called me first, and I never had to wonder where I stood with him.

It can be tempting to “make the first move” and pursue a guy.  But in my opinion, it’s just not the way to go about things.  God created men and women differently.  Men are to be the head of the household, and they are the ones that should do the pursuing in a relationship.  If you ask a guy out, text him first, call him twelve billion times a day, and are the pursuer, it shifts the roles.

3) Don’t date someone you wouldn’t marry

I just shared something wise my dad told me, so now I’ll tell you the advice my mom gave.  (Man, I never knew how smart my parents were until I grew up.  Ha!)  My mom told me to never date a guy that I couldn’t see myself marrying.  Now she didn’t mean that I had to seriously consider marrying someone before our first date, but it sure did help me narrow down my dates!

I wanted to marry a godly man who was heavily involved in ministry.  I wanted him to be kind, I wanted to enjoy being with him, and being funny was a definite plus.  If a boy didn’t meet these basic things (I was mostly kidding on the funny requirement), then there was no reason to date.  

You know these girls that date a guy, all the while planning on changing something about him?  Yeah, that never ends well.  Neither does “missionary dating.”  Don’t date someone you could never see yourself marrying.  Setting your expectations high can keep you from getting your heart broken.

4) Don’t change yourself

This world places so much pressure on young ladies to look and act a certain way.  Magazines will tell you that if you don’t wear a low-cut shirt, you aren’t going to attract anyone.  Or if you have frizzy hair, no guy is going to look twice at you.  Well, that’s just a bunch of baloney.  I have the world’s frizziest hair and you know what?  My husband likes it.  Maybe he only likes it because he can call me fuzzball, but he thinks it’s funny.  He thinks it’s “cute.”  I have no clue why.  These frizzy strands are a thorn in my flesh!  But moving on.

The point I’m trying to make is that you should never change yourself to try to be more appealing or to try to attract a certain guy.  If you find yourself dating someone that makes you feel bad about yourself, stop dating him immediately.  Women come in all shapes, sizes, forms, and personalities.  So do men.  It would be a boring world if we all looked like Kens and Barbies.  There’s someone out there who will love your freckles.  Or thinks your clumsiness is adorable.  Or loves to check the frizz rate of your hair in the mornings.  

Be real.  God made you spectacular.  And He has the perfect guy for you who will love all your positives, your quirks, and everything in between.

These are just a few dating etiquette basics to help navigate the dating world.  Dating can be complicated, but it can also be wonderful.  After all, that’s how you meet your future husband!  

I’m not a pro at dating, and I don’t know all the answers, but if you have any questions about anything I said, be sure and leave a comment.  Or if you have something you’d like to discuss that I didn’t cover.  For instance, on dates I perfected the art of checking to make sure nothing was in my teeth without anyone else noticing.  If you’d like my secret tips, just let me know.  Haha!